Intro to basic Part 1
Lets start at the beginning of me and my life. It is important to know where you come from and the mistakes you have. I am hoping that putting everything down on paper that I will learn more that i missed about myself to find where I am in life now. I am hoping people find inspiration from this and find something that speaks to them.
I was born in the small town of Milbank, SD on Oct 11th 1984. (No I don't have a problem with people seeing how old I am). I am the third of four kids and the second girl. I was allergic to most everything when I was a baby. So much so I almost died my first Christmas because my parents got a live tree that I had a serious reaction to. I was baptized with my older brother then air lifted to the nearest child hospital. I am a fighter so I survived.
I have very little memory before i was 6 because of trauma from my pedophile and abusive father. We were taken away from my parents and went into foster care. My two older siblings went to one foster home and I and my younger brother went to a different one. The one memory that I have of being in foster care is one night the older kids were watching us and the force feed me black olives until I puked. As a result I can't eat them or smell them without wanting to throw up.
At the age of 6 I meet my adoptive parents. They took the the three older of us. My youngest brother, Micah, was very sick so he stayed with the foster parents who adopted him into their family. The three of us staying together did not stand for long though. My Sister,Jodi, the oldest was too headstrong and didn't want to be adopted. So in the end my brother, Dale, and I were together.Which since we were the closest in ages (only 18 months to the day) was meant we always had someone to lean on.
My parents were older when they adopted us and already had kids that were grown up. The youngest of their children was 16, her name is Kristy. The next was Julie. Randy was there oldest and only biological child. He was married to the sweetest women named Cindy.
I was a child who wanted to please her parents. My dad and I went everywhere together. My mom ran a daycare out of her home and as soon as I was finished with school I would help entertain the kids or do anything that she needed to be done. Looking back at this now I know that it was my need to serve and be submissive that made me that way as a kid.
Getting great grade and wanting to learn everything that I could was how I was when it came to school. I set my own bedtime to make sure I was well rested. I read at least three books a week (chapter books always the bigger the better.)
As far as my parents were concerned the only things that mattered was church activities, getting good grades and exercising. I only ever went to one friends birthday and that was when I was 8. We went to church every Wednesday for AWANA ( learning verses and playing games.) and Sunday for Sunday school and church. I also walked to and from school everyday which was about a mile and a half one way.On top of that we walked about 5 miles on Saturday most of the time.
Starting when I was in 6th grade my brother started acting out stealing and lying. My parents made me in charge of him to make sure that he didn't get in trouble when they were gone. This meant that I couldn't play with my friends at their house because he was at home. Despite it only be the two of us we got along most of the time and always found something to do.
One of the things that my parents did once a year was go on a bus tour of older people which meant we stayed with Dale's old foster parents. They had a son named Roman that was the same age as me. He was the first boy that I ever kissed. I was 12 at the time. All the kids where watching TV downstairs with the lights out and we just decided to start kissing. It was so fun. He started kissing my neck and left hickeys!!!! So the next day I wore a sweat shirt to try to hid them and kept rubbing them freaking out about what his mom was going to say when she finally noticed. I went for a long walk and the mosquito's were really bad. She finally noticed and I played dumb. She came up with the conclusion that I had got bit and had made them bruise from rubbing them.(LOL they still don't know the truth!).
I was very close to my grandmother Nellie. We would go see her every weekend to help her go shopping for things that she needed and to get her out of the house. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's so when I was ten we had to put her in a home. I then would go see her as much as I could. Watching someone slowly forget that you are there grandchild is very hard. I was thankful for when she passed because she didn't know anyone which made her wither away in body and spirit. She was the first death that I had of someone close to me.
At the start of 8th grade I started to realize that I could never please my parents and this was the start of me trying to find what made me happy since I couldn't please them.
NEXT TIME: the rest of the past
